The importance to belong

Finding your place and trying to fit in can be extremely difficult, but for Latina teens this process has become deadly. Christina Hernandez’s article “Sound the Alarm” in Latina Magazine reveals an ugly truth. While waiting for meeting, I picked up the magazine and was shocked to read, “One in seven Latina teenagers will attempt suicide. Not only has this trend remained steady for more than a decade, but also the rate is higher than those of white or black teens. (Hernandez, 76).

Finding your place in a new culture while holding on to your roots has been the main reason why Latinas are the highest group of teens attempting suicide. “While the reasons vary, Zayas found that most often the cause for a Latina’s suicide attempt was an ongoing struggle between a teen who wants freedom to express herself… and parents who won’t allow such independence.” (Hernandez, 76). Most teens of any race go through a similar rebellious stage, however the clash is more pronounced and devastating for immigrant families where parents try to hold on to traditional values and instill these values onto their daughters. While at the same time, daughters, often first-generation, yearn for a modern American life. A life where they fit in. Often fitting in means giving up or ignoring your traditional values and this leaves teens feeling resentful, confused, ashamed, ashamed for feeling ashamed along with countless other feelings.

Hernandez states that family is a key factor in young Latinas’ lives. “Family rifts affect young Latinas more profoundly than peer conflicts.” (Hernandez, 77). On top of this, Latina parents often have a hard time understanding why their daughters are feeling and acting out in such a deadly manner. “Immigrant parents who felt they gave up so much to bring their daughter to a better life in the United States sometimes have difficulty understanding what prompted the suicide attempt.” (Hernandez, 77). Thus therapy is multidimensional. Government officials from California to New York are providing grants for Latina suicide prevention programs and are holding hearings on the problem.

Through the research a special program has been designed to help teens. It involves counseling for the teen, the parents, and most programs include training sessions and English lessons for parents. These programs are geared toward building communication within the family. By educating parents on the issue for why their daughters feel the way they do and providing parents with job training as well as English lessons, a transition is able to happen and an understanding begins.

The problem that this article raises is one that I believe Kenji Yoshino would understand. Even though his article, “Gay Passing”, is about his struggle to find his place as a gay man, which is clearly different than young Latina’s trying to find theirs, there is a similarity- fitting in and finding one’s own place. He actually acknowledges that all people have secrets and “closet” selves and we are all “passing” in a world where we may not believe we fit in. (Yoshino, 73).

What is important to realize is that we are all unique and to feel like we have to pass, or converge is ridiculous. “Fitting in” means that we believe there is only one-way to be. This is ridiculous. How boring would the world be if we were all the same? We must accept our difference, embrace and celebrate them! As long as no one is hurting another by being himself or herself, than we should not push for people to be the same. We must tear down the belief that there is only one right way to be, and to be that way is the only way to be happy. “So long as there is a right to be a particular kind of person, I believe it logically and morally follows there is a right to say what one is.”(Yoshino, 70). Kenji Yoshino acknowledges the fact that we are all different and certain people are allowed to express their differences, while others are not or are only allowed to show a piece of himself or herself. He says that as long as one person is allowed to be himself or herself fully, than all people should be allowed to be himself or herself fully. So what is to be done to help first-generation Latinas know that it is okay that they and their families are different than “society”? The answer lies in all of us. It is up to all of us, we must be courageous and stand up for something that we may think is silly. We must not let things pass. We must fix our “programming” as Ellen Neuborne puts it.

The article encompasses a lot of different things we have discussed in class. My conclusion is based off our own class challenge, to stick up for what we believe is right. It is just another way we can better our lives as well as others. I was pleased to read that there are many clinics available for Latina teens to go to to seek help and learn how to deal with “fitting in”. On face value this issue may seem silly to some. Yet, humans are social creatures. We are a people who look for belonging and to not belong, as is seen in this article, can be deadly for those who feel alone.

(Unfortunately I was unable to find this article on Latina.com, but it was published in their March 2010 issue.)