Paula Ettelbrick's essay, "Since When is Marriage a Path to Liberation?" shocking. Before reading this essay I never questioned that some gay or lesbians may not want marriage. I did not that there were some gay and lesbians that felt that marriage instead of creating equality just points out the obvious differences and keeps some who chose marriage more marginalized than before, if not keeping those who chose not to wed extremely marginalized. Ettelbrick example of the women who chooses to have sexual relations outside of marriage facing stigma really took home her point. That those men and women that may not choose to get married but still pursue their sexual relations, will continue to face the old stigmas they faced in the past as well as new ones.
She raises great points that some would still not receive the benefits of marriage and it keeps those people-minorities and working class- at a clear disadvantage. Yet, I wonder with the new health care bill if she would change her mind. No longer does a women or a man have to depend on his or her spouse for health insurance. Would she look at marriage differently? I have a feeling she would not. She does not seem to be happy about the fact that through marriage are men and women accepted for themselves. Yet, she acknowledges that we all feel a need to be accepted. So her argument raises many important points and gives a voice that I have not heard before. However, in light of recent legislature I wonder if her argument would change.
On this note I am also curious to what Kenji Oshino would say. I think he would agree that she should not have to confirm, but isn't he married? Doesn't the being able to have the choice of marriage mean in some part finally being seen as equal? The more I think about all the other sides of the coin and the arguments that I have heard in pro-gay marriage, Ettelbricks argument is in some ways lacking. Her fears are getting the better of her. I am not saying she does not have a right to feel this way, but wouldn't part of being accepted as being equal mean having the same rights as heterosexual men and women? Perhaps she is right that we still need to change our legislation so that this is not the only option. There are many heterosexual men and women who are not married, have kids, who for some reason or another chose not to marry. Are they not facing the same legal standing as homosexual men and woman?
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I had a similar reaction to Ettelbrick’s essay – to be honest, with all of the hype and publicity about gay marriage, I never really thought about the gay and lesbian population who might not want, or support, gay marriage. Ettelbrick takes this one step further in arguing that gay and lesbian individuals and/or couples who fight for gay marriage are only further marginalizing themselves and others. I agree with Emily, Ettelbrick makes several strong points and definitely gives voice to a side of the argument that I haven’t heard before. But I think the most valuable aspect of her article is that it forces us (the readers) to think about where we stand on such issues, and more importantly, why.
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